Finding Your Joy

Although I am all about my routines and staying in my comfort zone, spontaneity, excitement, and a change of scenery is refreshing once in a while.

Cut, dye, or style your hair differently.

Volunteer your time.

Paint your nails a bold color.

Adopt a dog.

Get a tattoo.

Travel somewhere you’ve never been.

Read a book in a different genre. (I know… we are living the vida loca now!)

But, spontaneity should not be a part of making your food selections when trying to lose weight.  Your food should be planned… 24 hours in advance. Joy and excitement shouldn’t be coming from your food.

Plan your food… make it boring even.  Make your food be part of your routine.  Heck, add your eating time to your calendar.  

Look for pleasure in other areas of your life instead.  

Find your joy in your life – not in your food.

In Polite Company, We Don’t Talk About It

In polite company, we don’t talk about politics or religion… or about nutrition.  Let’s face it. 1 in 3 of us are having to deal with being overweight – and so are many of our kids.  You can find expert advice on how to lose that weight on every street corner – a dime a dozen. But, what no one talks about is the emotional addiction to that food.  We use food in our culture to celebrate. We reward our children with treats. When most of us think about food, it makes us happy.

I recently watched a video of Dr. David Kessler explaining the science behind this emotional attachment to food  in “The End of Overeating” (the video is below). Basically, sugar, fat, and salt in combinations trigger the pleasure center in our brain.  Americans’ diet over the last four decades has increased tremendously in those three ingredients with the processing of our foods. Those foods, in turn, act like a drug – stimulating our brain.

The power of the food addiction (I know, no one likes the word “addiction”, but there it is) doesn’t necessarily come from the food itself.  We are driven (much like Pavlov’s dog) by stimuli all around us. Anticipation is powerful. It is the smell of the pizza when I walk into Costco that gets me in trouble – long before I actually see or taste said pizza.  As a matter of fact, the very thought of going to Costco makes my taste buds start watering.

So, really, those of us that are wanting to lose weight need to deal with the emotions of eating first.  (I don’t pretend to be an expert, but replacing a behavior with a new behavior is working for me. Also, avoiding situations that will get me into trouble is very helpful when I’m hungry.) Changing how we think about food – and feel about food – is a necessity if we want to lose the weight and actually keep it off this time.

As a society, Dr. Kessler recommended adding boundaries back into how we view food.  Over my lifetime, smoking has made the transformation from being acceptable to not. Food can’t be demonized the way smoking has been done, because we all need food. But, going back to it being three meals a day (instead of grazing all day) will be a step in the right direction.  

As for me, I have to be the change I want to see in the world first.  I’ve got to lose the weight and the emotional baggage it represents for good.

Down Time

Teaching is a selfless profession.  We spend all day serving others. We spend our work time, our personal time, and our personal money in the pursuit of helping children succeed. 

By the time 3 p.m. on Friday rolls around…

We are Stressed. 

We are Exhausted. 

We are Emotionally Drained (especially if you are an introvert on top of it all). 

Our brains are done making decisions, and we are seeking comfort. 

Many of us find it in food or alcohol. But, that is usually not conducive to weight loss. Honestly, I can’t call broccoli a comfort food. But, pizza… well, you get my point.

So, when trying to lose weight, you need to find a new form of comfort that will give you that same sense of release without the mindless caloric intake.

Here are some ideas… if you have a great way you spend your down time, please share with us in the comments below!


Read a book

Pool time

Walk or Run

Take a Hot Shower

Drive time

Watch a movie

Organize your space

Spend time in nature


Get a Mani/Pedi

Do Something Creative

Your Favorite Game App (mine is “The Room”)


Potentially Amazing

You have great potential. It is an energy so big, sometimes it is overwhelming, and you don’t know how to get it out. 

You need to surround yourself with the right people. 

Hang around people that will help you meet your potential. 

Do you and your partner hang around people in steady relationships or rocky ones?

Do you hang around coworkers that complain  the promotion is never headed their way or the ones that are always looking for ways to advance?

Are you a student that hangs around the “partying” crowd or the creative, academic crowd?

You have great potential. You will rise to the level of those people or fall to their depths. 

Show me those 5 people you chose to listen to, and I can show you the direction your life is headed in. 

The right people help us navigate distractions and temptations.  They help us overcome a shaky faith in ourselves. They will kick our butts when we need them to and celebrate us when we need that as well. 

Point your life in the right direction. 

Who are the 5 people who are the “loudest” voices in your life? 

Want Change?

I’m just going to leave these two little sentences right here…

According to Beisser’s paradoxical theory of change, personal change tends to occur when we become aware of what we are as opposed to trying to become what we are not.

It is important that we accept who and what we are rather than striving to become what we “should be”.

*mic drop*

The Struggling Dichotomy

THIS! This is how I feel almost every single day – a struggling dichotomy. One minute I feel like a beautiful princess… the next, an ugly witch- frightened of my own reflection. Most of the time, I am living a good life of the princess – my inner peace exuding through every pore. I make choices that lead me toward my goals. I am “being the change” I want to see in the world, and I am happy and content.

Then, with little warning, this visibly wounded victim surfaces. The witch is a hypocrite. She finds excuses for all the things she can’t do – laying blame anywhere but on herself. She is angry, and she is destructive. The witch will judge others to lift herself up, and she will sabotage any plans laid by the princess. And, she will hang on to the control of the body as long as she can.

One step forward, two steps back…

The truth is, the princess is used to losing the battle. The witch has been in control most of their lives. The princess is even the one that created the witch many, many years ago as a defense mechanism during the dark ages of the kingdom. She relied on her so much for a while, that the witch gained power and control. Eventually, the princess wasn’t around much. I don’t think she even knew she existed any more.

But, one day, the princess awoke from a long, long sleep. She realized what a mess the witch had made… in fact, she almost destroyed the entire kingdom with her destructive ways. The princess took back control, and locked the witch away where she couldn’t harm anyone else.

But, eventually, life started throwing punches, and the newly awoken princess still didn’t have the skills to duck and dodge. So, she would let the witch out to punch back then tuck her away back in her cell. Although it worked for a little while, the witch began gaining control again- manipulating the princess with her malicious whispers of untruths.

The princess worked very hard to learn the skills she needed to handle conflict so that she could once and for all be rid of the witch’s control. She tried throwing water on her, but it turns out her witch can swim.

Most days now, the princess doesn’t hear from the witch as much. But, when the princess is exhausted or faced with a difficult situation, the witch busts out of her chains and ensues with destruction. Except, now all of the witch’s hate is aimed at the princess herself. Her sabotage turned inward. Because, if the witch can’t be in control, she will do her best to destroy them both.

The princess knows she is winning this war but not always the battles. It would be so much easier if she could just send the witch away – never to return (maybe to the land of flying monkeys so the witch could have some friends). But, the witch is a part of her – so, she must find a place for her in the kingdom. The witch too can be a contributing member of the kingdom in the right job setting… she just doesn’t get to sit on the throne anymore.


Our brains make over 60,000 decisions a day.  So every chance they get, our brains run on autopilot… which, most of the time, means we are following an instruction  “manual” from our childhood. Our parents taught us our behaviors, our beliefs… down to the detail. We watched and learned.

Really.  It’s crazy, I know.  But, it is also true.  Think about it.

My husband leaves the TV on all day for background noise, because his mom does.

I turn the TV off if no one is watching, because my mom does.

Toilet paper roll over the top of the roll…

We all eat the same thing at dinner…

You have to work really hard to earn a lot of money…

We have to buy certain brands of certain foods, because other brands are unacceptable…

You make Thanksgiving dinner with Granny’s dressing…

You put the toilet seat down when you are done…

You brush your teeth twice a day…

No one is happy unless mama is happy… ok, well, that is a universal truth, but I digress.

I could go on forever….

My point is, our brains are on autopilot most of the time.  Some of our thoughts are outdated, and we just haven’t bothered to open up to the possibilities. There is a big world out there, full of opportunity.

Is your life headed in the direction you want?  

If yes, then congrats to you!  Keep it up.  

If no, then you can change it. It is just a thought or two away.  Really. You CAN make it happen.  


“I’m going to lose the weight.”

“I’m going to make more money.”

“I’m going to let go of the past.”

“I’m going to leave this relationship.”

“I’m going to get out of this debt.”

Do you see what all of these statements have in common?  They are all future-focused… which is great, because living in the past doesn’t serve you. But…. you can future-focus yourself straight into stagnation.  If you are going to do it, then you are never actually doing it.

Change your thoughts about your goals to create massive action in the present.  When you live in the moment, the here and now, you make your goals a reality. Ask yourself, “Is this choice going to get me closer to my goal?” If the answer is no, then make another choice.

Truth Be Told

My kids tell me all the time the “facts” they have learned from the internet.  I often argue with them, telling them they need to be careful and shouldn’t believe everything they see on the internet.

Then I started thinking.  We didn’t have the internet to give us our information.  But, who is to say “word of mouth” learning was any better?

Do you really think that gum will stay in your stomach forever if you swallow it?  If you step on that crack, will it really break your mother’s back? Will an apple a day really keep the doctor away? Don’t even get me started on holiday traditions…

When I started researching food and diets, I came to the realization that a lot of the things that I had “known” were true my entire life weren’t.

Did you know that counting calories doesn’t work?

Did you know that low fat, low calorie food does not make us thin?

Did you know that it is actually high insulin levels in our bodies that cause weight gain?

Did you know that snacking should not ever happen?

Did you know that you won’t kill your metabolism by skipping breakfast?

Did you know that you don’t need to fuel your workout?

Did you know that most of the “facts” we have learned about food and what is good for us just isn’t true?

Me neither…

But, now I do.

Knowledge is power.

It’s data… Not drama

Today we are talking about the scale. I am here to tell you that it is your friend, not your enemy! Just wait… hear me out!

The scale is a measuring tool.  It collects data. That’s it. There are no emotions or judgments involved in weighing yourself.

If you are being emotional about the scale, stop it! 

You should weigh in every Friday (or whatever day you choose) and, you should record your data. Write it down. 

All that number means for you is whether or not you lost weight.  To figure out why, you will have to track your food. That is where the evidence is lying.

Remember that the scale weights your muscles… your bones… your fat… your blood… your organs… your water… and any food left over from the last 24 hours in your body. It’s NOT a measurement of how fat you are. That’s emotion talking.

It is simply a number to compare to last week’s number Use it that way. Do the math, and decide you need to change what you are eating or not.

So, step on up with confidence!