Let’s talk about Buffering. So many of us try to avoid our emotions with food or alcohol or Netflix. We give into the urges that we have.
We want to stop buffering. We try to stop by resisting the urges, which only makes them bigger. We try to distract ourselves or avoid it altogether. Again, our urges get stronger.
Those urges are coming from our primitive brain. It is like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store – flailing on the floor and screaming at the top on it’s lungs until you give in.
To stop buffering, you have to ALLOW the urge with NO RESPONSE. You have to let your primitive brain have it’s fit until it is done. Most people feel like that urge is intolerable.
But, allowing an urge is a skill. You have to practice that skill to get good at it. Every time you allow the screaming fit with no response, the tantrums become less and farther in between.
You have to take a step back and just allow it. Witness it. Observe what is happening inside your primitive brain. Be curious about it.
But, here is the secret. Your primitive brain has a lot to say. But, it can’t do anything on it’s own. Only your prefrontal part of your brain can actually go get the donut or the wine.
So, bring those urges into your conscious brain, and make the decision to watch your primitive brain with fascination. It is the first huge step in changing your overdesire for good.
How do you buffer?
Every time you have an urge, write it down. Did you allow it, resist it, avoid it, or give into it?