Today, I was waiting in the car for my 15 year old daughter. I had already been waiting there for ten minutes (as usual). I was annoyed.
Doesn’t she know that is rude?
In church, she was standing next to me… arms crossed, looking half asleep, and non-responsive when I spoke to her. I was irritated.
Doesn’t she know why we go here?
In a brief moment of passing in our busy lives, she gave me attitude and eye roll (not her father, mind you… just me). I was miffed.
Doesn’t she know I was just trying to connect with her?
I texted her we needed to do her NHS application and AP exam registration when she got home. When she arrived, she went to her room without saying a word to me. I was bothered.
Doesn’t she know she needs my help with that (or at least my credit card)?
At dinner, she pulled her phone out and stopped speaking to us. I was irked.
Doesn’t she know that is unacceptable?
The list could go on… but, you get the idea.
We were standing in a group of people talking, and I was watching her interacting with others. She was kind, friendly, compassionate, smiling, interacting, and… my princess.
See, she does know all of those things. We have taught her well. That was our job. Now, our job is to just love her… and let her go. She is learning to find her own way. I don’t need to judge or micro-manage her. I just need to love her… unconditionally… with all the good and the bad that comes with being human.
She is actually a pretty amazing individual if you ever get lucky enough to meet her. You will think that I’m the crazy one… making up stuff about this beautiful, young woman. Because, she gets it. She really does. She just needs to spread her wings, and that means pushing me out of her way for a while. I’m okay with that.
The lesson for me… just love her. All too soon, she will be gone. Besides, I can’t control those little things that bug me anyway. Could I give her consequences? Absolutely. But, I think I’ll save that for the big stuff. For now, I’ll just be there when she does decide she needs my help.
Do you need help sorting through your relationship with your child? Message me. I can help you.
Takeaways…
Remember that your child is an individual.
Children watch us more than they listen to us.
When it is time for consequences, you should be emotionally neutral. Coming from anger doesn’t serve you or your child.
A child’s job is to make mistakes. A parent’s job is to lead them through to the other side.
